Exclusive: 2013 Bonnaroo Headliners

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With the re-elect in the rear view mirror, a source inside the Obama Administration is singing like a canary. We’re happy to play Woodward and Bernstein to their Nixon and bring you the as-yet-unannounced scoop: Bonnaroo‘s 2013 headliners will include Tom Petty and a re-united Wu-Tang Clan. Also on the bill, and fresh off of their spot supporting Jack White and playing Virgin Free Fest, ZZ Top. No word on whether or not hologram-ish technologies will be employed for Ol’ Dirty Bastard. Or, for that matter, Tom Petty’s late guitarist, Howie Epstein.

(We’re talking seven months from now, of course, so if you can’t wait that long for your festival fix y’all can always hop a plane to Fort Lauderdale later this month and get your dolla dolla billz out for the S.S. Coachella).

But we’re just a lil’ ol’ blog, so perhaps you doubt our reportorial abilities? Fair enough, but then again, we also had the scoop on the 2012 headliners. Just don’t ask us who Deep Throat is…and no, despite what you may have heard, it still isn’t Diane Sawyer.


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Behrnsie has a love for music that dare not speak its name. He attends many shows and can often be found counting out the beats for no discernible reason. He played alto saxophone in his middle school jazz band, where he was best known for infuriating his instructor when it was revealed that he played everything by ear, and could not in fact read music. He takes great pride that this is the same talent/affliction that got Tori Amos kicked out of the Peabody Academy. He does not live in his parents’ basement….except during the holidays.