So it’s Independence Day again and you’ve got it all worked out: the grill, the burgers, the beer (nothing imported, natch), the mini-flags on little wooden sticks. Not to mention an arsenal of off-brand fireworks large enough to earn you an invitation to join the Idaho Militia. You’ve even planned your secret getaway route from the fireworks show that will land you on your porch before the smoke clears from the grand finale. After all, this isn’t your first Fourth of July.
But as you pop the top on America’s Holiday and take a cold, delicious sip of Manifest Destiny, your star-spangled serenity is suddenly shattered by a sound so shallow, soulless and decidedly un-American that its first horrid notes are enough to make the Founding Fathers (plus Saint Woody Guthrie) start spinning in their graves: some douchetard is cranking that hideous goddamn Lee Greenwood song.
“I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free.” Free to what? Suck ass?
Hey Lee Greenwood, we’re NOT proud of your insipid little ditty, which may be the biggest affront to American Exceptionalism since Steve McQueen got cancer. After all, we’re the country that gave the world some of the greatest music of all time, not to mention cheeseburgers, waterslides, baseball, drive-in movies and Kate Upton.
We don’t need some talentless, jingoistic hack like you trying to manipulate us into a superficial sense of patriotic pride. We know we kick ass. And as a matter of fact, the next ass we’re kicking is yours, right after we hurl empty beer bottles at that douchetard.
So now, in spite of all your meticulous preparations, your entire holiday weekend stands on the precipice of ruin—all because of some idiot’s egregious musical taste. You need something strong to kill the pain. Something pure and true and authentically American, a musical homage that celebrates what’s best about this country we call home.
We’ve curated a Red, White, and Blue playlist of rock-n-roll nuggets that epitomize the American experience; songs that you can crank all weekend long. Songs that will not only erase the putrid memory of any invasive faux-patriotic ear worm, but will awaken your inner James Brown and reinvigorate your excitement about–to quote the Godfather of Soul– “Living in America… hand to hand, across the nation, gotta have a celebration! ”
So sit back and relax, and let the sweet sound of Freedom wash all over you…
Click Here if you’ve got Spotify: Weeping Elvis 4th of July Mix
The Jimi Hendrix Experience – Star Spangled Banner – Live At Berkeley – 2nd Show, 10PM
X – 4th Of July (Demo)
Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers – American Girl
The MC5 – Back In The USA
The Blasters – American Music
Johnny Cash – I’ve Been Everywhere
Woody Guthrie – This Land is Your Land
Bruce Springsteen – 4th Of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)
Simon & Garfunkel – America
Violent Femmes – American Music
Team America – America, F**k Yeah
Fleshtones – American Beat
Creedence Clearwater Revival – Fortunate Son
James Brown – Living In America
Bruce Springsteen – American Land
David Bowie – Young Americans
Green Day – American Idiot
The Muffs – Kids In America
Steve Earle – F the CC
Los Lobos – One Time One Night
Paul Simon – American Tune
Bruce Springsteen – Born In The U.S.A.
Grateful Dead – U.S. Blues
Neil Young – Flags Of Freedom
The Charlie Daniels Band – In America
Chuck Berry – Back In The U.S.A. – Single Version
Mojo Nixon – This Land Is Your Land